


so was it written (and so has it been)

by Little_miss_laughs_alot



Series: Mossflower [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, aaron's letter to andrew, andrew is not present (yet) but is a large focus of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24938944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_miss_laughs_alot/pseuds/Little_miss_laughs_alot
Summary: “Aaron?” Nicky asked. A long moment passed before Aaron leaned back and revealed what had fallen out of the book. The envelope in his hand was unassuming at first glance.But…He knew that handwriting, though the graphite was smudged and faded. His hand ached in an echo of trying to make his letters neat and orderly (as if that would make a difference in the end)....He kept it... He kept it... He kept it.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Matt Boyd & Aaron Minyard, Nicky Hemmick & Aaron Minyard
Series: Mossflower [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804996
Comments: 12
Kudos: 106





	so was it written (and so has it been)

“Nerds.” Nicky snorted from his precarious perch on the back of the couch. 

“Like you’re not the one who brought it up?” Matt asked, brow raised. 

Nicky waved his hand dismissively. “Irrelevant. Anyway, you’re both wrong. It was the snake, right?”

“Nicky what the fuck.” Matt and Aaron stared at Nicky, for once in complete agreement. “You really think that _Asmodeus_ _the_ _snake_ was…” 

Nicky lasted about five seconds before cracking. “Ha! You should see your  _ faces _ . No I don’t, but it’s been literally years since I read the books so I don’t remember. And clearly neither do either of you.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes and took a long drink, “Great. This is the most pointless discussion we’ve ever had…”

“No, I think that trophy goes to the cockroach debate,” Matt mused. Aaron considered that, then tipped his bottle in acknowledgement.

“The second most pointless discussion then. Considering none of us have read it since middle school, so we don’t actually remember the story.”

“Fuck you, I remember everything perfectly!” Nicky protested.

“Bullshit,” Matt interjected. “You literally just said that you didn’t.”

“That was… a ploy?” 

Matt shoved him lightly and Nicky toppled ungracefully into the couch cushions.

_ “Anyway!” _ Nicky continued as though nothing had happened, struggling to sit up. “There’s an easy way to solve this. Andrew has a copy, right?”

Matt stared blankly at Nicky, but Aaron nodded. “Yeah, pretty sure.”

“Wait, Andrew? As in  _ Andrew? _ Has a copy of  Redwall ?” Matt asked, jaw gaping. 

Aaron shrugged. “My copy’s in Columbia, but he brought his books here.”

“He does  _ not _ seem like the type. Didn’t he say he’s allergic to books or some shit like that?” 

“My theory is that he just hates the library, the dramatic punk.” Nicky huffed a laugh. He had compromised with his horizontal status by turning so that his legs hung over the back of the couch, while his head dangled near Aaron’s feet. “Anyway, Kevin should be around to let us in.”

“Probably pouting because Andrew and Josten ditched him.” Aaron rolled his eyes.

“What, pouting just like you two were doing?” Matt asked. Nicky squawked in outrage. 

“Excuse you! I was not pouting!”

“You were pouting.”

“Well pardon me if I wanted to go to Columbia but was  _ betrayed _ by Andrew and Neil’s plans for a  _ romantic weekend getaway _ .”

“A romantic weekend getaway. In Columbia. Those two.” Aaron asked flatly, lip curling, “Right. I’d say you’ve lost it, but you can’t lose what you never had.” 

Nicky flapped a hand in his general direction, not quite getting close enough to cover Aaron’s mouth. “Disrespect. Abandoned and betrayed by my own children. And me, feeble in my old age. Respect your elders!”

“You’re twenty-five.”

“Ungrateful child.” Nicky was too tipsy to pretend to be upset. “Make it up to me by going to get the book.”

Aaron sunk further into the bean bag in protest. 

“Or I’ll spread around that story of when you were four and…”   
  


“Okay, I’m going. Asshole.” Aaron heaved himself up.

Matt spoke up, “Tell Kevin there’s beer if he wants to tear himself away from the Trojan game.”

Aaron grunted in acknowledgement and moved toward the door, yanking off one of Nicky’s shoes in retribution as he went, tossing it behind him.

Matt cackled until Nicky shoved his sock-clad foot toward Matt’s face.

Aaron shut the door to the sound of Matt’s cry, “Ugh god, the stench!”

He pounded on the door to his old room until Kevin opened it with a scowl, an exy game blaring on the TV behind him. Aaron didn’t wait for an invitation, heading straight for the bedroom. He took a moment to note the differences since last time he’d been inside: a new coffee mug on the counter, a notebook lying open on the windowsill with pawprints drawn on the page next to a series of equations, and Kevin’s alarm clock was again residing in the trash can (he must have woken Andrew up too early that morning). He made a beeline toward the closet and grabbed Andrew’s copy of  Redwall from the shelf inside. 

Returning to the living room, he passed Kevin.

“Matt got beer,” Aaron stated. 

Kevin held up his own drink and pointed at the TV, “Trojans are playing.” 

That was that. Aaron left Kevin to his game and returned to his own room.

Nicky made a celebratory noise as Aaron opened the door and tripped over a shoe. Aaron picked it up and chucked it back at Nicky, who dodged clumsily.

“Did you get it?” Matt asked. Aaron held it up in response, shoving Nicky over so he could sit on the couch. “Sweet, man! Alright, let’s see.” 

Aaron opened the book, aiming for the table of contents. However, the book was determined to open closer to the middle. He initially thought that it was due to the cracked spine. This was proven wrong immediately when something fell out of the book.

“Shit, did a page…” Matt started as Aaron leaned forward to catch it before it hit the ground. 

Aaron cut him off with a heartfelt, “Holy fuck.” 

Nicky scrambled upright in alarm. “What? Did you break it? Andrew will murder us if you broke it!”

Aaron couldn’t respond. His heart was in his throat as he stared down. 

“Aaron?” Nicky asked. A long moment passed before Aaron leaned back and revealed what had fallen out of the book. The envelope in his hand was unassuming at first glance. 

But… 

He knew that handwriting, though the graphite was smudged and faded. His hand ached in an echo of trying to make his letters neat and orderly (as if that would make a difference in the end). More than that, he knew the names, the addresses (one more ingrained in his memory than the other). He remembered drafts and drafts of letters that didn’t make it into this envelope, and the final one that passed muster. 

He recalled, like phantom pain, the feeling of anticipation; the sense (the hope, the pointless hope) that he would never be alone again.

He remembered getting a nearly identical envelope in the mail and the blow like a punch to the solar plexus. That part never really went away.

A long silence. 

“Sorry, what’s…?” Matt asked, unsure.

“Aaron. Is that…?” Nicky asked, voice low and soft like it only ever was over hot cocoa at 3am. 

Aaron ran a finger over the flap of the envelope. It was worn soft and smooth, any risk of a paper cut long gone. If Aaron didn’t know better… 

_ Did he know better? He would never have expected this. What else didn’t he know? _

… If Aaron didn’t know better he would say it was because of frequent handling. He didn’t answer Matt and Nicky. 

Instead, he  _ (slowly...slowly… as though this dream would shatter if he moved too quickly) _ slipped a folded paper out of the envelope. 

This he knew too. When he last saw the letter, it was crisp and clean. He’d had to rewrite the final draft on a fresh sheet because gatorade spilled on the first, moments before putting it in the envelope. Now worse for wear, some of the words were faded, there were fingerprint smudges on the edges, the creases were deeply entrenched and worn thin in the fibers of the printer paper taken from the school library.

“How…?” Aaron’s jaw worked helplessly, and he turned to Nicky desperately. “Nicky, he…”

Nicky blinked the wetness out of his eyes. “He kept it, Aaron.”

“But…” Aaron ran his finger over the childish handwriting  _ (Dear Andrew,…) _ “Why did he…?”

“I don’t know,” Nicky sighed. 

Aaron felt himself losing his tenuous grip on self control, and Nicky noticed (of course Nicky saw. Nicky always saw). 

“Come here kiddo.” He reached out an arm and Aaron let himself tip sideways and be comforted. He pressed his face into Nicky’s shoulder. Nicky wrapped his arms tight around him and squeezed. Finally Aaron let out the breath he’d been holding in since he saw the letter  _ (maybe since the moment he sent it).  _

He closed his eyes and breathed for a long time. When he was ready, he sat back up and Nicky let him go. 

“I thought he threw it away.” Aaron whispered.

“You thought he didn’t care.” Nicky interpreted.

“He kept it. Through everything.”

“He did.”

“He read it, and he kept it.” 

“It looks like he read it a lot.” Nicky said softly. 

“Then why did he write back what he did? Why didn’t he…?” Aaron asked helplessly.

“I don’t know. I think that’s something only Andrew can answer.” A clatter in the kitchen brought Aaron’s attention to Matt, who was heading toward them with two mugs. Aaron hadn’t even noticed his departure. He barely caught Nicky’s mouthed  _ “Thanks” _ to which Matt nodded and handed them each a mug of hot cocoa (a sweet tooth was apparently genetic, though Aaron disguised his better). Matt returned to the kitchen for a third mug and a bottle of Irish cream from the fridge, which he offered to Nicky and Aaron. Aaron shook his head, and Matt set the bottle on the coffee table.

“You doing alright man?” Matt asked lightly. Aaron vaguely processed that he was being given an out. For once he didn’t take it. 

“This letter…” Aaron abruptly changed his mind about the alcohol, pouring a measure into his hot cocoa. He took a long drink, ignoring the immediate regret he felt about not letting it cool first. “I wrote this letter to Andrew when I found out about him. His response was…” Aaron trailed off, words failing him.

“Brutal?” Matt supplied after a short time. “Andrew-like?” 

Aaron snorted. “Yeah.”

A beat. 

“I never knew that he kept it. I thought he would have thrown it away or burned it a long time ago. But this…” Aaron gestured vaguely at the letter. “He kept it.” That could not possibly encapsulate the feeling trapped in his chest, but it was the only way he could put it into words. 

_ He kept it…  _

It pulsed like a heartbeat through Aaron’s bloodstream.

_He kept it, He kept it, He kept it,_ _He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He kept it, He cared? He kept it, He kept it, He kept it,_ ** _He cares?_**

“I forgot that I told him I was reading  Redwall ,” Aaron said. Anything else felt too big to speak about. 

“He remembered,” Matt responded, reaching out to pick up the book. Aaron glimpsed a carefully printed  _ Andrew Doe _ written in the front cover as Matt flipped through it, oblivious.

Nicky snorted. “It’s Andrew. He remembers everything.” 

Matt cut a glance over to Nicky, but that brought another thing to Aaron’s mind. He let out a sharp breath. “Andrew remembers everything," he said. "He remembers everything but he still kept it. He still read it.”

“Over and over, it seems like,” Nicky said quietly, looking down at the envelope. His fingers grazed the addresses.

“I don’t know what this means.” Aaron admitted.

“I think…” Nicky said, “I think that this may be something to bring up on Wednesday.”

Aaron didn’t respond. 

Though his sessions with Andrew were less painfully stilted and outright hostile than at the beginning, a minefield of potentially fatal missteps and hostile silences (the native tongue of the Minyards) persisted.

But at that very moment, he had a cup of cocoa between his palms. Nicky sat on one side, ready to support him unconditionally as always. Matt sat on the other side, a newer development, but through close quarters he had become something like a friend. And sitting in front of him on the coffee table was concrete proof that Andrew, at some point, was at least  _ half _ as excited as Aaron had been to have a brother.

_ \--- _

_ Dear Andrew, _

_ I don’t know if you know about me already. Officer Higgins said that he would talk to your foster mom. But if you do not know already my name is Aaron and I am your brother. I guess we look alike because Higgins thought that I was you. We must be identical. We can be identical because we are twins (I think. Your birthday is November 4, 1986 too right?).  _

_ I live in San Jose. Oakland is kind of far away, but not super far (an hour, I asked my teacher). I wonder if we ever saw each other before. But I guess I would have remembered seeing someone who looks like me. _

_ Do you like to read? I’m reading a book called  _ _ Redwall _ _ right now. It’s about mice and rats and other animals fighting a war. I wonder if you would like it too.  _

_ I wonder what you are like. Do you wonder what I am like? I go to school with some other twins and they know everything about each other so I guess we have some catching up to do. What’s your favorite color? Mine is blue. Do you have any food that you hate? I really hate shrimp, but I love ice cream. What do you like on pizza? Nicky thinks it’s weird, but my favorite pizza has pineapple and jalapenos. Oh yeah! We have a cousin named Nicky. He’s in high school now and he’s really cool! I hope you like him when you meet each other! _

_ I hope you write back to me. I want to get to know you. I never knew I had a twin. I wish I had known so I could have looked for you.  _

_ Maybe we can meet each other? Would you want to? I want to. _

_ Let me know.  _

_ Your twin! _

_ Aaron Minyard _

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope y'all liked this! It came to me in a dream... I sat down to type up a note about it so I wouldn't forget, then next thing I knew I was 1000 words in and invested. 
> 
> I may continue this, if people are interested? Feel free to let me know (and subscribe to the series, if you want!)
> 
> Edit 6/28/20: minor edits, including taking out the reference of Nicky being in Germany in Aaron’s letter, as that’s not accurate to the timeline (writing the letter would’ve been right after the twins turned 13, which was November/early-winter of Nicky’s junior year, I believe. He left for Germany after Aaron & Tulsa’s move to Columbia)


End file.
